This will probably be the last post I will share on Facebook. I have made a few changes to the look of the blog, and I’ve upgraded it, so there are no more annoying ads. I also have a new blog address that is easier to type in and remember. I will also be making my blog private. This was a difficult decision to make.
Up until this point, I have felt a need to share my journey with all of my Facebook friends, and anyone else. I have hoped that many people who don’t understand mental health might be able to develop empathy from witnessing my journey vicariously. I wanted God to freely guide souls to my blog that could benefit from what I have to say. Hopefully that has been the case for some people. I haven’t wanted to restrict my words because I have wanted to think that everyone could benefit from my experiences. Unfortunately, since the Mother’s Day incident at church, I have felt very uncomfortable. I bore my testimony yesterday in church, like I usually do, but it was much harder. It took every ounce of courage I could muster. As I spoke at the pulpit, I didn’t feel the love and support I used to feel. I cried most of the day yesterday because I feel so rejected by my ward family. I met with my Bishop. He tried to help me feel better, but I am still in a lot of pain.
As many people have learned in recovery, just because you love someone doesn’t mean they can be trusted to be in the intimate parts of your life. Just because they are family members, or in my case, ward family members, doesn’t mean they deserve access to your vulnerable places. It is time for me to take care of myself and push those people away who haven’t earned the right to witness my recovery.
Some people enjoy conflict and debate on their blogs. Some people make money on their blogs and want to drive traffic. I’ve done some introspection to decide what this blog is for. It is for me. No one else. I have no desire to make money. My writing is one of my creative outlets. It is a way for me to connect with supportive friends. It is also a way to practice assertive communication, self-awareness, emotional processing, and other mental wellness skills. I think those things would be better accomplished with a private blog.
If you are interested in reading my blog, please sign up as a follower. There should be a button on the bottom of this page that will allow you to sign up. If you have any trouble. Private message me and I would be happy to help you.