The Broken Haidmaid

As a teenager, I had a seminary teacher named Brother Ramirez.  He taught my Book of Mormon class and it was in that class that I developed a deep and abiding love and testimony of the Savior.  I had a full length mirror in my room and I put a card at the top that said, “Behold the Handmaid of the Lord.”  Like Mary, I wanted more than anything to be the woman he wanted me to be and to live my life in his service and whenever I looked in the mirror, I wanted to see that.

cropped-img_20181021_223419Although my life has turned out much different than I expected in those days, I have had many opportunities to serve him and testify of his healing grace and loving mercy.  All he wants from me is my broken heart, and he has it.  I am his broken-hearted handmaid.

All he wants from me is my broken heart, and he has it.

In this blog I hope, more than anything to raise awareness of the suffering that hide among us, unseen and unloved.  Many of us who suffer from debilitating mental illnesses have a carefully crafted facade behind which we hide to avoid judgement and stigma.  In choosing to speak about my illness and my experiences, I hope to inspire others to find their voice, share their pain, and come to the Savior to be healed.  I also seek to inform my friends of the things they can do to help those with mental illnesses.  There are medications, therapy, and spiritual resources that have helped me and others find relief from the racing thoughts, suicidal ideation, self harm, and abusive relationships which tend to plague our lives.  There are also many things people do and say that might seem helpful, which are really harmful and painful.  Reading my blog can help you know what is really helpful for people who struggle with these issues.


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