Oh Lord, if I was ever thy handmaid, have mercy on me. Oh Lord, if ever thou didst look down on me with smiling face, have mercy on me. Reveal to me my sin, for I have taken thy name upon me as thy handmaid. How can I take thy name and sin! Far be it from me to tarnish thy image among thy children! I know I am broken, but I have taken a crown and worn it. I have lifted my voice in thy name and spoken thy word. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a ragged girl with a torn paper crown. I am nothing and no one and least among my sisters. I am playing a part, I am wearing a mask, and I do so imperfectly and flawed.
“Show me my sin! I plead unto thee to show me my sin and give me my stripes. Here is my back naked before thee. Apply the whip to me for I know that thy judgement is just. I will take it with smiling face for I know that it will bring me good. I know that thy judgement is just and thy pruning will stimulate growth and life in me. Take all that I have. I give it to thee for I am nothing without thee. Without my faith, my life is a dry husk. Thou art as the sun, the fuel of all life. Thou art as the pure spring, a fountain of water that never fails.
Show me my sin, that I may repent and follow thee more perfectly, that my heartstrings may harmonize with the heavenly choir. Open the closet of my heart and purge my hidden places of every unclean thought, every prideful wish, every wicked imagination. No corner will I keep from thee, for thou art holy, and I am nothing before thee.
I am broken and sick and all wrong, and yet thou hast had mercy on me and given me a trumpet. I will sing thy praises all the day long, and into the night. My tears will fall from swollen eyes, yet my heart will not cease to seek after thee. In the world shall I have tribulation. Am I greater than He? Am I better than He that I should turn away from shame and spitting? No! I have taken His name and I will be His vessel, His broken vessel.
I will own my scars and wear them as he did, in his hands and in his feet, and the spear wound that all men might see and behold that He is Mighty to Save! He is Mighty to Save! I will not give up and I will not be silent. I will take up my cross and walk my path to my own hill on Calvary. For my Lord has said that after tribulation cometh the blessings. It will be as he has said. Blessed be the name of the Lord!